Hash Hymnal

We like to sing.  Like, a lot.
 
 
Head (Who said head?!)
Melody – None (Quit trying to sing it.  Just yell it.  Yell it really loud.)
 
HEAD?
Who said Head?
I’ll take some of that!
So I did!n
And I liked it!
So we fucked!
For hours and hours!
Uprooting trees, shrubs, and flowers!
Like vikings!
With horns on our head!
HEAD?
Who said Head?!
I’ll take some of that!
 
 
Shitty Trail
Melody – Micky Mouse
 
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Shitty Trail (IT SUCKED)
Shitty Trail (REALLY SUCKED)
I’d rather drink a beer than run your trail
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
 
 
Big Ol’ Boobies
Melody – (The one that we sing.  I have no idea what it is.)
 
She’s got big ol’ boobies like the porno movies 
She could suck a golf ball through a garden hose
And you’ll never leave her, ‘cus she shaves her beaver
Just get her drunk and anything goes!
 
His One Skin
Melody – My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean
 
His 1 skin hangs down to his 2 skin
His 2 skin hangs down to 3
His 3 skin hangs down to his 4 skin
His 4 skin hangs down to his knees.
Roll back, Roll back, Roll back his foreskin for her
For her!
Roll back, roll back, Roll back his foreskin for her!
 
 
Here’s to the Virgins
Melody – Ach, Du Lieber Augustin (…what?)
 
Here’s to the virgins
The virgins, the virgins
Here’s to the virgin’s who are with us tonight
They’re happy, they’re jolly, they’re hashers by golly!
Here’s to the virgins who are with us tonight..
So drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink!(DRINK MOTHERFUCKER DRINK MOTHERF….etc. Even in writing I get excited screaming at virgins.)
 
 
A Harriette on the Trail One Day
Melody – When Johnny Comes Marching Home
 
A harriette on the trail one day, yo ho, yo ho
A harriette on the trail one day yo ho yo ho
A harriette on the trail one day
She said, hey hasher, you want a lay?
Get in, get out, quit fuckin’ about, yo ho yo ho yo ho
 
I put my hand upon her toe yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her toe yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her toe
She said, “Hey Hasher, you’re wayyy too low!”
Get in, get out, quit fuckin’ about, yo ho yo ho yo ho
 
I put my hand upon her knee yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her knee yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her knee
She said, “Hey Hasher, quit teasing me!”
Get in, get out, quit fuckin’ about, yo ho yo ho yo ho
 
I put my hand upon her twat yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her twat yo ho yo ho
I put my hand upon her twat
She said, “Hey Hasher, you’re hittin’ the spot!”
Get in, get out, quit fuckin’ about, yo ho yo ho yo ho
 
(Sing this verse sadly.  Do it.)
 
And now she’s in a wooden box, yo ho yo ho…
And now she’s in a wooden box, yo ho yo ho…
And now she’s in a wooden box
From sucking too many hashers cocks
Get in, get out, quit fuckin’ about yo ho yo ho yo ho
 
……… (Pause then be enthusiastic, bitches. That’s what the exclamation points mean.  Duh.)
 
We dig her up every now and then, yo ho yo ho!
We dig her up every now and then, yo ho yo ho!
We dig her up every now and then-
She fucked us once, she’ll fuck us again!
Get in, get out, quit fuckin’ about yo ho yo ho yo ho!
 
 
Why Are We Waiting?
Melody – Come Let Us Adore Him
 
Why are we waiting,
We could be fornicating (masturbating, etc),
Oh, why are we waiting,
So fucking long, etc . . .
 
 
It’s a Small Dick
Melody – It’s a Small World
 
Well it’s not too long and it it’s not too thick,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat,
But it’s all that he’s got,
It’s a small, small, dick.
 
 
Take Me Out to the Hash Run
Melody – Take Me Out to the Ball Game
 
Take me out to the hash run,
Take me back to your room,
Buy me some condoms for sex, sex, sex,
Ribbed French ticklers are always the best
For it’s push, push, push to the climax.
If I don’t cum it’s a shame.
For it’s ooh, aaah, oh my god.
I don’t know your name!
Drink it down, down, down, down
 
 
Meet the Hashers
Melody – Flintstones Theme
 
Hashers, meet the hashers,
They’re the biggest drunks in history,
From the Quad Cities(obviously),
They’re the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down down all their beers,
down down down down down down
down down down down down down down down
down down down down down
down down down down down down
 
 
Do, Re, Me, Drink Song
(Melody –  Do, Re, Mi)
 
Dough, what I use to buy my beer,
Ray, the guy who sells me beer,
Me, the guy who drinks the beer,
Far, a long, long way for beer,
So, I’ll have another beer,
La, la, la, la, la, la
Tea, no thanks, I’m drinking beer,
That will bring us back to,
Dough…
 
 
Down, Down, Down Your Beer
Melody – Row Row Row Your Boat
 
Down Down Down your beer,
Down it for your crime.
Quit complaining ’bout the taste,
There’s no sperm this time.

 

 

Do your balls hang low?
Melody – Do your ears hang low
 
Do your balls hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them o’er your shoulder
like a continental soldier?
Do your balls hang low?
 
 
Harriette Song
Melody – Turkey in the Straw
 
Well the wiggle of her ass would
make a dead man cum,
And the nipples on her tits are the
size of my thumb.
She’s a mean motherfucker;
She’s a great cock-sucker;
She’a a har-ri-ette!

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